Increase your red blood cells
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Increase your red blood cells
by himanshusethia Sun Oct 28, 2007 12:29 am
1. One young man went for an IAS Interview.
“When did India get independence?” He was asked.”The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947″ He replied.”Who was responsible for our independence?”.”There were so many. Whom to mention?.If I name one it will be a injustice to another.”He replied.”Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?”.”Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report” He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful
answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others,since they
were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally
others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but
one persistent Sardar would not leave him.
“At least tell me the answers” he pleaded, and our friend obliged. Then
it was the turn of this Sardar. When he went inside, since his resume
was slightly illegible, the board member asked him.”By the way, what is
your date of birth?” He replied, “The effort began a few years earlier
and final result was in 1947.” Somewhat puzzled, they asked another
clarification.”What is your fathers name?” He replied, “There were so
many. Whom to mention”. If I name one it will be injustice to another”
The interviewer was incensed. “Hey! are you mad or what?” He replied.
“Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only
after seeing the report.”
2. Sabziwala: Madam ye 500 ka note blouse se nikla hai
kya?
Madam: haan par apko kaise pata chala?
Sabziwala: Gandhi ji ka mu abhi bhi khula hua hai!
3. Teacher ne kaha-translate hindi to english, "khushi ke maare uski chhaati phool gai". Santa translated-"Due to happiness his chest turned in to breast"!!! :-)
4. sharmaji on telephone : maa ek khus khabri hai...
maa : kya khus khabri hai ?
sharmaji : aaj hum do se teen ho gaye....
maa : mubarak ho.. ladka hua ya ladki ?
sharmaji : meri biwi ne dusri shaadi karli hai...
5. पति (पत्नी से)- क्यों न आ?ज की चाय हम बाहर चलकर पी जाए।
पत्नी (पति से)-क्यों? तुम्हे क्या लगता है कि मैं चाय बनाते-बनाते थक गई हूं।
पति- अरे नहीं, दरअसल मैं ही कप प्लेट धोते-धोते तंग आ ग?या हूं।
6.डॉक्टर एक बातूनी महिला का चैकअप करने के बाद बोला- आपको कोई बीमारी नहीं है, केवल आराम की जरूरत है।
महिला- लेकिन मेरी जबान तो देखिए।
डॉक्टर- उसे भी आराम की जरूरत है।
7.guptaji: Nurse, I am very eager to know my blood group.
Nurse: B positive
guptaji: please tell me soon ....
Nurse: B positive
guptaji: Madam, I am positive, but I'm eager to know my blood group.
8.Woman complaining to the dentist "I rather get pregnant then having a tooth filled"
Dentist: "Decide fast so that I can adjust the chair accordingly"
9.75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying. Why???
coz she didn ' t know anything, and he had forgotten everything
10.Teacher asks students, what do u wish 2 do in future?
sanju: I want 2 b a pilot.
biru: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ritesh: I want 2 help Deepa.
11.Laloo Yadav's car is driving along a back country road on the way back
to Patna, when all of a sudden a piglet jumps out in front of the car.
The piglet dies on the spot. Laloo, upset, tells the chauffeur to go
find the owner of the piglet so that he can pay the damages.
The driver is gone for two hours and when he comes back, he has a bag
full of money, and a wondering look on his face.Laloo wants to know whathappened.
The driver tells him "Hum jab gaanv me pahuncha to dekha kuchh log ped ke niche baithe hain. Jub hum unko bataya ki ka hua hai, tab sara log jama ho gaya. Humko laga ki aaj to hamra pitayee hoga. Par hum ka dekhta hoon ki sara log paisa jamaa kar raha hain. Hum socha ki ye sara piasa wo janvar ka malik ka liye hoga. Par un logan ne saara paisa hamein ko de diya."
Laloo says "Sasoor ka natee, Theek theek batawa. Tum unko ka bola tha?"
The driver replies "Hum kaha ki hum Laloo Yadav ka driver hoon aur hum sooar ka bachcha ko maar diya hoon."
12.Once, mirza ghalib, the gr8 shayar, is caught doing susu outside his mehbooba's house....
she sez.. "kya kar rahe ho...??"
he sez....
"khoya hua hoon main itne ghum mein tere vaaste...."
"khoya hua hoon main itne ghum mein tere vaaste...."
"ki ab aansoo bhi dhoond rahe hain naye naye raaste!"
13.Bholaji is the english teacher in a school. He is very well renowned for all his students do very well in exams. The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the english class.This is what transpires :
Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA "
Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"
Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN, MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
By this time the inspector is furious. He confronts the principal and shouts at him "What is this Bholaji teaching his students. He is supposed to be taking an english class and what he is saying is GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH.
The principal too is shocked, the famous english teacher doing this.
Principal : "Bholaji what nonsense are you telling these students "GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH".
Bholaji : "Yes i was telling all this in class, but i was only teaching the students the spelling of ASSASSINATION. ASS - ASS - I - NATION (GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH)
14.Girl:Darling Hum Kahan Jaa Rahe Hain???
Boy:Darling Hum Ek Long Drive Par Jaa Rahe Hain....
Girl:(Nakhra) Pehle Kyon Nahi Bataya????
Boy:Mujhe Bhi Abhi Pata Chala Jab Car Ke Brakes Fail Huye........
15.Girl:Darling Hum Kahan Jaa Rahe Hain???
Boy:Darling Hum Ek Long Drive Par Jaa Rahe Hain....
Girl:(Nakhra) Pehle Kyon Nahi Bataya????
Boy:Mujhe Bhi Abhi Pata Chala Jab Car Ke Brakes Fail Huye........
16.Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki. Shivji khush hue . .Prakat hue . Bole..puttar maang maang.. kya chahiye tujhey ! Bakth utha ... bola shivji mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do! Shivji bole kaisa gadha hai? Unhone kaha puttar tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai.kuch bada maang ! Wo fir bola nahi ji mujhey to aap guitar hi do ! Shivji ne phir samajhaya abey kuch dhang ka maang! Par wo to ada hi hua tha. bola, nahi aap to mujhey guitar hi do! Shivji uskey pao main gir gaye bole yaar tu kuch aur maang. guitar na maang ..Wo bola nai nai nai !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye. Ab Shivji gussey main aa gaye ..boley , abey agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata phirta ???
17.Saas: “Saat saal ke baad bachcha paida kiya, woh bhi ladki”.
Bahu: “Agar aapke bete ke bharose rahti toh yeh bhi nahin hoti.”
so my dear friends,
Gul ko chhune se darte hai
Kahi Vo Naraz na ho jae…..
Usski Khushboo Dur se hi lete hai
Darte hai kahi Vo Murzaa na jae…....!
Apke Sapne dekhnese darte hai
Kahi Aapki Aadat na lag jae
Durse hi Dekh Aapko Karib Paa lete hai
Darte hai kahi Aap Humse Dur na ho jae..…!
------------------------------------------THE incorrigible Himanshu leaves u with a reason to smile--------------------------------------
“When did India get independence?” He was asked.”The efforts began a few years earlier and final result was in 1947″ He replied.”Who was responsible for our independence?”.”There were so many. Whom to mention?.If I name one it will be a injustice to another.”He replied.”Is corruption the number one enemy in our country?”.”Some research is going on the subject and I can answer with certainly only after seeing the report” He replied.
The interview board was very pleased with his original and thoughtful
answers and asked him not to reveal the questions to others,since they
were planning to ask the same questions. When he went out naturally
others were curious to know what was asked. He politely declined, but
one persistent Sardar would not leave him.
“At least tell me the answers” he pleaded, and our friend obliged. Then
it was the turn of this Sardar. When he went inside, since his resume
was slightly illegible, the board member asked him.”By the way, what is
your date of birth?” He replied, “The effort began a few years earlier
and final result was in 1947.” Somewhat puzzled, they asked another
clarification.”What is your fathers name?” He replied, “There were so
many. Whom to mention”. If I name one it will be injustice to another”
The interviewer was incensed. “Hey! are you mad or what?” He replied.
“Some research is going on the subject. I can answer with certainty only
after seeing the report.”
2. Sabziwala: Madam ye 500 ka note blouse se nikla hai
kya?
Madam: haan par apko kaise pata chala?
Sabziwala: Gandhi ji ka mu abhi bhi khula hua hai!
3. Teacher ne kaha-translate hindi to english, "khushi ke maare uski chhaati phool gai". Santa translated-"Due to happiness his chest turned in to breast"!!! :-)
4. sharmaji on telephone : maa ek khus khabri hai...
maa : kya khus khabri hai ?
sharmaji : aaj hum do se teen ho gaye....
maa : mubarak ho.. ladka hua ya ladki ?
sharmaji : meri biwi ne dusri shaadi karli hai...
5. पति (पत्नी से)- क्यों न आ?ज की चाय हम बाहर चलकर पी जाए।
पत्नी (पति से)-क्यों? तुम्हे क्या लगता है कि मैं चाय बनाते-बनाते थक गई हूं।
पति- अरे नहीं, दरअसल मैं ही कप प्लेट धोते-धोते तंग आ ग?या हूं।
6.डॉक्टर एक बातूनी महिला का चैकअप करने के बाद बोला- आपको कोई बीमारी नहीं है, केवल आराम की जरूरत है।
महिला- लेकिन मेरी जबान तो देखिए।
डॉक्टर- उसे भी आराम की जरूरत है।
7.guptaji: Nurse, I am very eager to know my blood group.
Nurse: B positive
guptaji: please tell me soon ....
Nurse: B positive
guptaji: Madam, I am positive, but I'm eager to know my blood group.
8.Woman complaining to the dentist "I rather get pregnant then having a tooth filled"
Dentist: "Decide fast so that I can adjust the chair accordingly"
9.75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying. Why???
coz she didn ' t know anything, and he had forgotten everything
10.Teacher asks students, what do u wish 2 do in future?
sanju: I want 2 b a pilot.
biru: I want 2 b a doctor.
Deepa: I want 2 b a good mother.
Ritesh: I want 2 help Deepa.
11.Laloo Yadav's car is driving along a back country road on the way back
to Patna, when all of a sudden a piglet jumps out in front of the car.
The piglet dies on the spot. Laloo, upset, tells the chauffeur to go
find the owner of the piglet so that he can pay the damages.
The driver is gone for two hours and when he comes back, he has a bag
full of money, and a wondering look on his face.Laloo wants to know whathappened.
The driver tells him "Hum jab gaanv me pahuncha to dekha kuchh log ped ke niche baithe hain. Jub hum unko bataya ki ka hua hai, tab sara log jama ho gaya. Humko laga ki aaj to hamra pitayee hoga. Par hum ka dekhta hoon ki sara log paisa jamaa kar raha hain. Hum socha ki ye sara piasa wo janvar ka malik ka liye hoga. Par un logan ne saara paisa hamein ko de diya."
Laloo says "Sasoor ka natee, Theek theek batawa. Tum unko ka bola tha?"
The driver replies "Hum kaha ki hum Laloo Yadav ka driver hoon aur hum sooar ka bachcha ko maar diya hoon."
12.Once, mirza ghalib, the gr8 shayar, is caught doing susu outside his mehbooba's house....
she sez.. "kya kar rahe ho...??"
he sez....
"khoya hua hoon main itne ghum mein tere vaaste...."
"khoya hua hoon main itne ghum mein tere vaaste...."
"ki ab aansoo bhi dhoond rahe hain naye naye raaste!"
13.Bholaji is the english teacher in a school. He is very well renowned for all his students do very well in exams. The school is having an inspection and the inspector decided to visit the english class.This is what transpires :
Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA "
Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA"
Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MEIN"
Bholaji : "Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MEIN, MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
Students (in chorous) : "GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH"
By this time the inspector is furious. He confronts the principal and shouts at him "What is this Bholaji teaching his students. He is supposed to be taking an english class and what he is saying is GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH.
The principal too is shocked, the famous english teacher doing this.
Principal : "Bholaji what nonsense are you telling these students "GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH".
Bholaji : "Yes i was telling all this in class, but i was only teaching the students the spelling of ASSASSINATION. ASS - ASS - I - NATION (GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH)
14.Girl:Darling Hum Kahan Jaa Rahe Hain???
Boy:Darling Hum Ek Long Drive Par Jaa Rahe Hain....
Girl:(Nakhra) Pehle Kyon Nahi Bataya????
Boy:Mujhe Bhi Abhi Pata Chala Jab Car Ke Brakes Fail Huye........
15.Girl:Darling Hum Kahan Jaa Rahe Hain???
Boy:Darling Hum Ek Long Drive Par Jaa Rahe Hain....
Girl:(Nakhra) Pehle Kyon Nahi Bataya????
Boy:Mujhe Bhi Abhi Pata Chala Jab Car Ke Brakes Fail Huye........
16.Ek baar ek aadmi ne badi tapasya ki. Shivji khush hue . .Prakat hue . Bole..puttar maang maang.. kya chahiye tujhey ! Bakth utha ... bola shivji mujhey to aap sirf ek guitar de do! Shivji bole kaisa gadha hai? Unhone kaha puttar tuney badi achchi tapsya ki hai.kuch bada maang ! Wo fir bola nahi ji mujhey to aap guitar hi do ! Shivji ne phir samajhaya abey kuch dhang ka maang! Par wo to ada hi hua tha. bola, nahi aap to mujhey guitar hi do! Shivji uskey pao main gir gaye bole yaar tu kuch aur maang. guitar na maang ..Wo bola nai nai nai !! mujhey sirf guitar hi chahiye. Ab Shivji gussey main aa gaye ..boley , abey agar guitar mere paas hota to main ye damaru kyo bajata phirta ???
17.Saas: “Saat saal ke baad bachcha paida kiya, woh bhi ladki”.
Bahu: “Agar aapke bete ke bharose rahti toh yeh bhi nahin hoti.”
so my dear friends,
Gul ko chhune se darte hai
Kahi Vo Naraz na ho jae…..
Usski Khushboo Dur se hi lete hai
Darte hai kahi Vo Murzaa na jae…....!
Apke Sapne dekhnese darte hai
Kahi Aapki Aadat na lag jae
Durse hi Dekh Aapko Karib Paa lete hai
Darte hai kahi Aap Humse Dur na ho jae..…!
------------------------------------------THE incorrigible Himanshu leaves u with a reason to smile--------------------------------------
himanshusethia- Number of posts : 6
Location : nanchang
Registration date : 2007-10-27
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